the story goes when i reached pg where my cousin brought me...
once there, i went to meet mal... den thats when our conversation started...
i met mal and talked to him la... coz i guess that was my motive coz he nga jual kad rayer...[i knew this sbb he told me kat myspace la kn...terbawa2 dr realiti ke alam mmpi... =( ] den after our conversation i had to leave sbb nak pegi pasar malam kat ard pg tu... before i left, he asked me smt la kn...
so, this is where the interesting conversation starts..
mal: ayie...kenape ayie pikir n igtkn didie dlm semua keje ayie buat.
ayie: huh?[ somehow i didnt answer n just smiled]
mal: kenape ayie?
ayie: tataw eh... [tears was brought to my eyes]
mal: har... tengok tu ckp pasal didie je da nk nanges...
ayie: ayie tataw la mal... ayie... tataw la... asal ayie pkkn didie... ayie hampa, hiba...[perasaan makin sedih] sejak hari tu, bile ayie pkkn dd setelah hari kejadian tu, ayie rase mcm dunia ayie da laen... ayie pk nk bunuh didie tapi ayie tk kesampaian nak buat camtu... ayie terlalu sygkn didie... kdg2, my world seems to be crumbling down on me... [my voice became softer... tears kept on falling]
then i smiled at him n walked away... upon reaching the car, then i remembered i wrote kad rayer for them... so i took the pile of cards, ran back n gave him... [in which i placed a bear sticker at the back which wrote, "openly slowly to show that u care =)". in it was a kad rayer n smt else in which i myself dono!! it's my dream yet i dont noe!! pathetic!!! =(]
ayie: mal bagikan kad2 ni utk dorg eh... ayie x dpt jumpe la... da xde mase n cari dorg... exam da nak mule lagi 2 hari.. tapi ayie kat sini lagi hapie2... haha... k la mal... tata mal.. kirim salam semua k... [ n walked away]
what i didnt noe was that didie was behind the counter listening to all this all this while... as i was walking, mal called me...
mal: ayie!!! jap... ade bende utk ayie... [he handed me a card in an envelope]
ayie: ape ni? bile boley buka? skarang?? dalam kete? kat singapura??
mal: laaa... ermm... dalam kerete baru buka k...
ayie: okay... hehe...
den i walked to the car... but my cuzzin ipar wasnt back yet so i sat at the back n open the card... being crazy, i read who was it from first... haha.. donoe y i did tat... n i was shocked when it was from didie... i shall not disclose what was written... coz it made me cry more... i was sad... so i turned to see the booth mal was selling the rayer cards... there i saw didie... n i went out of the car n my dream ended there... i donoe what happened next...=( haix...
i was surprised coz i was tearing when i woke up... it felt so real i guess i really miss didie being an important person in my life... he made a difference in me... he's still an important someone that is still special... when i try to and pretend that i already forget him... somehow my heart will tell me... stop torturing urself... just call him n tell him the truth... my heart keeps telling me he will understand... but my instincts says he wont... i donoe if i should listen to my heart or my gut feeling more... i wish an answer will be so simple to get... calling is simple... once i do so i just feel afraid to talk to him... what more to tell him... haix...
dilemma fills the nyte...
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