..a little too sweet*

im so stress!! im so afraid!! i dont know what to apply.. :(
im afraid of all things that will happen..

i need to talk.. & membebel.. and all stuffs!! eee.. tension!!

either pick up the phone & dial (family or friends number) or simply dial 0196(01********). how to choose?? :(


somewhere inside me says that i still need him much.. but i shouldnt bother him already.. i dont even think he wants to know what is wrong with me anymore.. wait.. that's not true.. he cares.. i dont know how, but he knows when somethings are just not right.. maybe he send spies.. haha!! paranoid la mala! isk! but seriously[u should listen to the way he says this word. so cute! ngee!=) ]somehow, whenever it comes to a point of breakdown, it feels like the very first person that will pop up in my mind will be him.. to the point that his super sweet face is set as the wallpaper on my hp.. apparently i talk to things that arent alive. but seeing his face on the screen every time i unhold the phone makes me happy much.. but i cant really turn to him.. i lack the courage.. but i still do want to just call.. huh.. i dont know.. maybe im over reliant and too dependent on him.. i didnt know it will make this much change to me.. but he happens to understand although at times what i want to hear is not exactly what he will say.. but that's just life.. i dont always get what i want.. haih.. i feel scared to call him.. im just afraid of what he might say.. but i miss his voice.. or the times i'll keep on blabbering and he's super quiet but actually he was already asleep.. hmm.. well, im paranoid.. :(

until the day, another someone can steal the way he did, till that day comes, he'll still be the one i pick. actually no one could steal like he did unless he returns what he stole in the first place. so just keep it! haha!!