i dont really feel like myself anymore ever since i turned a year older.. ever since i turned t-w-e-n-t-y-o-n-e.. and this change i feel is super drastic.. to the extent that i feel i've gone w-i-l-d. out of hand? no. not out of hand yet. but just so wild. seperti kepak dah tak terikat.. seperti sayap yang dapat flap flap flap.. :(
zahirah says im getting wild. haha.. i mean she meant it good for myself. :( she knows me well.. she very well knows ive changed. changed badly after my birthday. ive changed. for the worse of me i guess.. i dont know but i feel so disappointed in myself.. hampe.. kecewa.. terluka.. :(
i thought of what zah said to me.. and yes, i agree with her.. im such a bitch (she didnt call me a bitch, mind you.) omg.. she said about why i prefer-red or rather have a long distance relationship when i dont even have a boyfriend in singapore-as yet.. she could conclude something from what i portrayed myself to be.. ahhh! could be due to that? :(
arrrgghh.. im just so pissed with myself now.. i just want to be me.. but how and why is drastic changes happening to me? i didnt ask for the change. it's like these changes are in me. but they are just waiting for a chance to explode.. :(
i know i got pissed for breaking up a year ago and i said something or sort of swore to myself that might have caused or lead to this change. but.. ya allah! perubahan ni.. terlalu ketara.. walaupun sebenarnya, kalau lihat secara purata, sempurna dan okay aje.. but kalau diselidik dengan lebih mendalam, ia perubahan yang teramatlah sangat..
astaghfirullahalazim. haihh.. :(
kenape saye jadi camni? :( tolong saye please.. ape harus saye buat? ;(
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