this blog is full of angst.. sorry blog.. where else could i release everything without being judged? (dont worry, i am aware that i am fully judged by the things i wrote.. but heck.. thats just bits & pieces of my life..)
haih.. somehow, i wonder how people feel towards me! that will include my family, cuzzins and friends from all walks of life.. i know, i have not been an angel. i know i have not been all so nice.. i know i have my flaws.. i know i have my setbacks.. i know i have my times of being a whack job.. irritating people.. i know i have been someone i never was before.. more importantly, have i been myself or was i putting up a face? a false front to make people happy with me? i dont know.. if i say, people have to tell me.. but how do they differentiate the two right? if youve been there for me, with me, even within a short period of time.. i bet you can differentiate who i am.. you can even make inferences that might be true, if you have the "opportunity/guts" to tell me that is.. inferences may be a thing i've done you know, hidden from you.
sometimes, i wonder, why your past harps on you when you're leaving it behind? why look on you when you're trying to hide? why tear you apart again when you're almost healed? i dont know.. i dont have the answers.. maybe it is just testing my patience.. and just testing my strength and will to move on..
maybe, one day, people will realise, having me wasnt the bestest thing that happen to them.. but hopefully, i was someone who managed to carve at least one smile on their faces, once in their lifetime.. that isnt hard right?
No comments:
Post a Comment