..a little too sweet*

haixx... been wondering, contemplating, crying... i juz wasnt sure... how did i react when i received the results? well, i am not certain either... i do not know whether i was expecting it or because i was too shock to see it... i was rather speechless... well, i did under-perform... every time the weekly tests come or it is the major examinations, I will try to relax and not stress myself too much... but unfortunately, as the day to test and examinations arrives, everything seems to go wrong..first, i just feel the fear of not being able to live up to my teachers’ expectations and of course the expectation of my own as well as my parents... thus, at times, it just demoralizes me on the day itself... hence, instead of achieving for the targets, it turn out otherwise...

but seeing the results did make me a bit happy... especially for chem n gp... unfortunately when teachers, friends says things like i know u can do it easily... with a breeze... u can do it coz u r mala... it just hurts me so much and aches my heart deeply... im juz so sad... y do people have such high confidence in me while me myself and i dont? im juz tat helpless that everytime u say that... i'll burst into tears... haix... im sad... sad!!!

but to whoever have that confidence in me... i cry as i dont know if i can live up to your expectations... u know all the what and if... haix... u know how sad if i cant achieve what i want and thus end up disappointing u??


i'll try my best... and hope for the best... please help me when i need it... okies??