i have so many things on my mind now. but i seem to not jot it down or even write it here much.. so many things to say but i dont know where or how to start for that matter.. oh man.. i dont know.. im just so tired everyday eversince my study break begin last wednesday.. im suppose to study but NO! i havent started on any single subject.. procrastinating arr... no sense of motivation at all.. can someone be kind to motivate the ever so not motivated to study me? pretty please? =(
these past 2 days, ive been having 2pm-6pm or 3pm-7pm sleep (habis terbongkar, tk solat asar! haha!) okays.. im just too tired and i cant pinpoint a reason to it.. i kind of miss school somewhat.. maybe because im so used to waking up at 6am everyday except friday where i wake up at 830am or 9am depending on my mood to drag myself out of bed, that having this opportunity to wake up later than usual everyday is tiring me out.. weird? i think so too.. but yup maybe thats one of the reasons..
i also feel like a lazy bum! i sleep for 4hours and yet still feel super duper sleepy at night.. how nice? it's either i feel super duper sleepy or i just cant sleep and then i start having nightmares..
i have 2 problems at hand.
- i dont know if you're lying to me. if you are, i will personally scream in your face if i ever get to see you in reality. dont make me sympathise with you with sob stories.. i maybe naive and stupid that i can be gullible at times, but please eh, i have sources which i bump into coincidentally.. and if you need something from me, please ah, just tell me honestly okays? i feel super shitty now.. i feel bangang tahu tk?
- aiyoo.. can you please not stalk my blog..? you think i bodoh meh?? i know you do, stalker.. i know other things you do too.. sayang nampak? tapi ngaku tidak ade kaitan.. macam siput.. eyh.. you ingat i bengap macam awak ke ape huhh?? again, i know the reasons behind what you did.. *i know what you did last year!* maybe you were just waiting for that single mistake to gobble me down whole. there you have it.. stop stalking my life can? nak tahu sangat meh? ape dalam hati sekarang??
well, in my heart, i carved someone's name. a name that i thought will just be the same, but i guess i was wrong. he makes me go insane. and he makes me smile & he makes me laugh but right now he's in pain (he's recovering alright). though when im face to face with him, i cant say a thing, i know in my heart, it's him and just him. i told him a lot from the feelings at the start till now.. i dont know what i did but i guess i just did.
i hid my feelings before and it got me in pain.
at least, now, for him.. i twist it by a bit so as to make it fit.. if he doesnt feel the same, i can still manage to be slightly happy that i told him how i felt and not regret.. and i told him how i love and i will never forget..
i love you, i really do. but i really dont know what i mean to you. it doesnt matter for i think i told too fast and too much within days, weeks... im just waiting for you even if it's just friendship that brews..